Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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