I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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