How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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