so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
