that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
