if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She needs sedatives and a leash
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
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