i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
