couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
