And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
