I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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