is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
