She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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