Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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