well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i came on her dog
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
