I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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