Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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