Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
