Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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