so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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