im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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