i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's never too late to be topless.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
