i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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