Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
