so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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