I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
