True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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