I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
