id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
