u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
