dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
