I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
