omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
