she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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