I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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