Having a random hookup so left but love u
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
