this beer tastes like vomit already
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
