My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
