Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
