This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
