Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
