Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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