He had one of those small greek statue penises
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
