Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
