You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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