She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
