I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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