I love black thongs
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
