Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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