I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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