Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
